Why the Holidays Can be Stressful

As much as the holidays are fun and happy, sometimes they can be stressful for almost everyone. A number of factors can contribute to this which results in making people feel less joyous, and even depressed during this time of year. I already shared my favorite things about the holidays in an earlier post, but today I am doing the opposite and sharing a few reasons why the holidays are stressful. I apologize in advance that this post will bring your Christmas spirit down since it will include negative thoughts. I, too am feeling some of that holiday stress as we get closer to Christmas, but I am writing this post a few hours after my brother’s graduation ceremony which was a little bit hectic. Plus, I still have to write a few more of these holiday blog posts while completing other tasks, despite not starting my job yet.

1. Family

I know that this is important to a lot of people, and spending time with them is supposed to be the best thing about the holidays. However, it can also be difficult with strained relationships. Starting during Thanksgiving, it can be stressful having family gatherings due to members having different opinions, or just straight up not getting along at all. There is also the factor of most members having high expectations for each other, so if you come to the dinner table with bad news then expect some disappointment and awkward conversations. I am glad that I didn’t have to spend Christmas with my extended family last year after getting fired a couple weeks before. Plus, it was cancelled due to rising cases of the Omicron COVID variant. This year, I am not so lucky as I had to see them during Thanksgiving and again on Christmas Eve. I was worried about seeing them for Thanksgiving because I hadn’t achieved anything all year, and I was also anxious to be in close proximity to them after being socially distant during the pandemic. Luckily, none of them asked about my current job status. I also have to make something for both dinners which I never did before, but I had no choice since I am older with more responsibilities. However, things might not be so bad seeing them again now that I have a new job set. In my immediate family, there is a lot more drama going on. You see my brother recently got into legal trouble that caused the police to come over, so now he has been summoned to a court hearing a few days before Christmas. My dad is pretty upset with him, and he thinks my brother will end up in jail, which explains why he wasn't happy with him graduating from college. I just hope my brother is innocent because from what he told me, he only did certain actions to defend himself (and he possibly might have been drunk). However, my father doesn’t see a happy ending to this, so now my family is pretty much divided. Don’t worry, this isn’t the first time this sort of behavior happened right around the holidays. This is why I don’t have a good relationship with my dad because he loses his temper easily. I just wished that he could see how we feel when he gets mad and has his usual outbursts. If you are currently spending the holidays this year with toxic family members, consider me as your family member. You do not deserve to be treated like trash by your family, especially during this time of year. You go through so much, and I am proud of you for pushing through. Pretty soon, the new year will be upon us so let’s hope it will be even better.

2. Working during the holidays

If you worked/currently work in either retail, customer service, or even an essential worker, you can understand the hard reality of this. The holidays are the busiest time for stores, which means employees have to work long hours during that time making it really stressful. Last month, I wrote a post about how customer service employees don’t get enough respect for what they deal with, and I am not kidding. They have to deal with lots of rude customers while working for a minimum wage. That also means they are sacrificing spending time with their family, and actually enjoying the holidays. I think the problem is that Christmas has become so commercialized that companies are using it as a marketing scheme to make more sales and profits, but not caring about the employees working. Why can’t adults have a winter break like students do? That way, they would be much happier spending the holidays doing what really matters. Again, if you are one of these workers, I salute you getting forced to work during this time, and if you are a customer, please be nice. Don’t act like a Karen to them, remember that they don’t have a chance to spend part or all of the holidays leisurely all because management wants to focus on making profits or sales using this commercialized holiday strategy. If you are an essential worker, like a first responder, I especially want to thank you for putting your lives on the line during this time. I know you rather spend the holidays a different way, but sometimes people can get reckless doing who knows what? Honestly, not many people understand how much you people go through sacrificing all those restless days and nights trying to save people’s lives. Hopefully, you get rewarded a nice holiday gift after all you have been through.

3. Final Exams

If you are currently a high school or college student, you very well understand this feeling. It is almost winter break, and you can’t wait to spend the holidays, but first you have to go through final exam season. All those late nights studying and stressing over big exams that can make or break your grades. It can be very difficult to stay motivated during these times, and it also can be hard to keep up the holiday spirit while being focused on academics. Prior to that, there are a bunch of holiday activities that happen the final week of classes before exams which are usually fun. But, when exams week comes during the final week of the semester, the fun is gone and depression instantly hits. All you want to do is curl up in your warm bed and drink hot chocolate instead of taking a stressful exam. To all of those who took exams during this stressful time, I hope you did your best, and you are using this time to take care of yourself as winter break is starting for most of you. If you are worried about those grades, know that they don’t define you, and you can still succeed even if you don’t do well. I really wish exams weren’t the final week before the winter break just so you can have time to enjoy the holiday season. I honestly remember a time during my elementary/middle school days when we didn’t have final exams, and it was a whole week of doing holiday activities like having a class Christmas party. Luckily, you have an excuse to drink those holiday Starbucks drinks as extra fuel while studying.

4. Traveling

This is the most stressful part of the holiday season for a lot of people. A lot of factors include long lines at security checkpoints, risking losing your luggage, possible chances of flights being delayed or cancelled due to snow or whatever other reason. I never traveled close to the week of Christmas, but I always had to fly back home since I was an out-of-state college student. However, I had to make sure my tickets were booked early because prices for those can also get expensive later in the month of December. That was for an essential trip, but if you are doing leisure travel during the holidays, planning for it can also be stressful because you have to think of all the logistics like lodging, activities, etc. Therefore, I recommend not traveling during the holidays if you want to avoid the busy airports. However, if you have to travel to see family, I recommend booking your flights way in advance, and arriving at the airport at least 2 hours before your flight so you can make it through the long security checkpoints, and make it to the gate on time. I mean, it was stressful enough for the McCallisters’ from two Home Alone movies rushing through the airport (because they overslept) getting to their flight on time, and still leaving Kevin behind.

5. Money

Unfortunately, this has become the most important part of Christmas nowadays above everything else. Instead of thinking about giving and kindness for others, money is on everyone’s minds. People stress about money during the holidays for a lot of different things: spending and affording money on gifts, wanting money for Christmas, spending money to travel, even working to afford for the holidays. Inflation has especially made it harder to do all these things during the holidays, and sadly, some people can’t afford to buy gifts or even celebrate. This adds to my previous reasons why traveling is stressful, and why Christmas has become too commercialized to become a marketing strategy for retail stores. It seems that people always want something that costs money for Christmas; it is no wonder why I asked for a bunch of things that don’t cost anything for Christmas in the last couple of years. If you can’t afford to buy gifts this year, I recommend doing something kind like making a nice dinner or a simple Christmas card. You can also talk to friends and family that you don’t see very often. There are way too many problems in this world, and money is not going to resolve any of it.

Bonus! Christmas Cards

It is a very popular holiday tradition among families, but it can also be hectic and stressful. When families are trying to take the perfect photo for their annual holiday card, it can be a strenuous task. Everyone has to look good, and look happy, and that can take several hours. This can be pretty difficult if you don’t have a good relationship with your family (see reason #1). Then you have to work on editing the photos, arranging them, and sending it to several people. I remember taking photos for my family Christmas card, and I felt like it took forever getting me and my brother to look good, and have nice smiles (even though we had major sibling rivalry). My mom still makes us do Christmas cards even though we are adults, but now I am the one who has to make the cards which can be a little bit stressful when I have other tasks to do. I actually should be working on them, but I don’t want my family to know I also have this blog to work on.

Well, those are some of the reasons why the holidays can be stressful. If you are looking to bring your holiday spirits back up, then I suggest doing some of the activities on my post about my favorite things during the holidays. If you don’t feel like doing any of those, I am totally fine with that. I want you to focus on taking care of yourself during this time of year. No one deserves to be feeling low during the holiday season. Everyone deserves to have some joy and cheer. Get lots of rest, drink water and stay warm, you are worthy of anything. I wish you all Happy Holidays!

For information on mental health resources near you, please visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness, or NAMI at NAMI.org.

If you or someone is experiencing a mental health crisis, please text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or call 1-800-273-8255.