Halfway Point (P.S. Version)

Welcome back to my series of republished study abroad posts! For those of you that are new here, I am bringing back my old blog posts from my study abroad experience that includes added content. During my college years, I studied abroad for a semester in Japan in a city that is one hour away from Tokyo. So far in this series, I talked about the first couple of months where I have experienced so much like traveling to new places, meeting new people, and immersing myself in a different culture. In this blog post, I was already at the halfway point of my time abroad. As much as this feels like an accomplishment, you will find that this has a more negative tone as you are reading. Even though I wanted to share the positive things about studying abroad, I decided to be open and tell the truth. Back when I was planning on writing this post, I wanted to continue sharing the exciting and interesting things that happened. Then, I decided to change the entire topic into sharing my struggles of studying abroad because something bad happened that made me feel down. I felt like this was the only post where I was the most vulnerable. However, it is okay to struggle in life and have setbacks in your adventures. How else did you think someone like Spider-man or the Avengers got to win a lot of battles? They all had setbacks and obstacles before getting back up. That is basically what studying abroad taught me. Sometimes, a high-quality photo that you posted on social media of you living in a foreign country doesn’t always tell the entire story. I will let the rest of my blog tell you the challenges of studying abroad, but I will still add some content as usual.

Konnichiwa! It is hard to believe that I am at the halfway point of my time abroad in Japan. Being at the halfway point means I have experienced a lot! Recently, we have started our teaching assistant program at a nearby junior high school that is part of the Kanto Gakuin system. We assist a teacher in an English class and help the students learn English. On Tuesdays, we teach the high school grade 4 level class and on Thursdays we have a casual English lunch break in the English lounge where we talk with the students in English. After that, we help teach the junior high school grade 1 level class. To be quite honest, I wasn’t looking forward to being a TA for an English class at first because English was not one of my strong subjects in high school. Luckily, I reached out to some of my former high school teachers and they gave me strong words of encouragement to be patient and keep it simple. I especially need to have lots of patience because in the grade 4 class, some are not as interested in learning the English language. Some are sleeping, or talking to their friends. The grade 1 class on the other hand, are very energetic and interested in learning the subject. But at times, it can be hard to teach them since they are very noisy.

I will talk more about this in a later post, but it was a difficult experience being a teaching assistant for an English language class. There seemed to have been no discipline for the students as they were either sleeping or being very chaotic. It was also difficult to help teach the basic English language concepts since it contrasts the concepts of the Japanese language. For example, the basic way to build a sentence in English is subject-verb-object, but in Japanese it is in reverse with it being subject-object-verb.

Now, this post will not be like the others because as much fun studying abroad seems, it will not look like a picture-perfect experience at times (and that’s OK). I will share those challenges that I (as well as others) have encountered during my time in Japan as they are considered learning experiences.

#1 The Language Barrier

This for me is the biggest challenge in Japan since the Japanese language is one of the most difficult languages in the world. In fact, the other students from my university have said that the language barrier was the most difficult as well. One student said that with the language barrier, you are “not able to say what you want to say.” Another mentioned that “it has stopped her from asking questions that she wanted to ask and continuing conversations. In Japan, there is more intricate vocabulary that catches us off guard at times.” I totally agree with both since they are mentioning similar points. In Japan, there are many levels of talking based on rank and statuses of people; ex. boss to his subordinates. Especially in Japan, you have to be very careful when speaking to someone higher than you because there is respectful language called keigo (honorific.) There are also different tense endings that are used when talking about past, present, and future. Even when speaking to friends/host family during a conversation, it is hard to continue the conversation especially when there is a word you don’t know the meaning of, yet you have so much to talk about. Often when I come across a word I don’t understand, most conversations are left open-ended.

And sometimes there are things I really want to talk about that I am able to in English, but many times I don’t know the meaning in Japanese, so I try my best to keep it simple. My perspective on the language barrier is that it is taking a while for me to get through. Sometimes, I feel intimidated when someone is talking to me in fluent Japanese, and I can’t understand a word at all. It also takes a lot of energy for me to speak the language especially there are times when I want to use English. If I am in an uncomfortable situation and someone is trying to help me, I completely shut down and unable to try to speak Japanese. Not a lot of people speak English in Japan, so it sounds very foreign to me and I have to fend for myself. Not only is there the language barrier in Japanese, there are also barriers from other languages. There are many international students from other countries such as Russia, China, and Taiwan. The positive aspect is that it makes the study abroad experience more diverse, but there is also a negative aspect in my opinion. English may not be their first language, so the only way to communicate is to use Japanese, or somehow find a way to learn their native language. In a way, it creates a double language barrier. As you read on, you will find that the language barrier can play a role in the other challenges that I talk about.

#2 Standing Out

This is another major challenge that I have noticed in Japan. In the country, a majority of the population is Japanese/Asian. Very few are either white, hafu, (half-Japanese), etc. and that includes mostly tourists. For the two other students in my group, they easily stand out due to their ethnicity with one being white and other Latino. In my case, it is a little different. Since I am Japanese, I have a Japanese last name and I look Japanese. Therefore, people expect me to know Japanese. However, not being fluent and knowing little about the cultural habits makes me stand out as a 外国人(foreigner). There is a Japanese proverb that says, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” Japan is a group-oriented society meaning that everyone has to conform to the cultural norms. If one does not conform accidentally, Japanese people really notice, and act very emotional about it. That is why, I have to be careful when blending in with society so that they don’t know I am a 外国人.

Another way to put this is that because I look like a Japanese native, I didn’t get the foreigner treatment. Some people automatically start talking to me in fluent Japanese as if I am one of them. If I make a mistake with the cultural norm, some people don’t act friendly and became straight-up pissed at me. It’s no wonder why the dorm manager and his wife didn’t like me.

#3 Typhoons

In my hometown of Hawaii, we have hurricane season but in Japan, there is typhoon season. The season lasts between May and October, with August and September being the peak season. During a typhoon, there are strong winds and heavy rain showers hitting Japan. Typhoons can impact many things including delays in the rail lines. There have been a few typhoons since arriving, and I remember experiencing one that hit close to my area. One night, I remember the room shaking in my homestay as the wind speeds were about 46 miles per hour, plus the power went out. I was feeling worried as the room kept shaking since this is the first time I felt wind speeds at a very high level. Luckily, it happened close to my bedtime and I was safe after that. But it was a scary experience for me.

#4 Making Friends

I remember this point being mentioned by a former student from my university that studied abroad in the same program. In Japan, people tend to be very shy so you have to make the move instead of them coming to you. I recently interviewed one of the KGU professors for my Japanese culture class, and he is also from Hawaii. He mentioned that in Japanese culture, they are more patient and willing to wait unlike the Hawaiian culture where they are more welcoming. In my case, it makes it really difficult when trying to do things during my free time and there are two reasons. One, is that I am an introverted person so I am shy as well. And two, there is that language barrier once again which makes me unable to say what I want to say to the Japanese students

Before I share my final challenge I had studying abroad, I would like to mention a couple of other challenges that I also encountered:

#5 Academics

When you go to a college in a different country, academics will for sure be way different than what you are used to in the US. For instance, grading scale might be different, classes can either be easy or difficult, and professors might have their own way of teaching the class. The classes I took while abroad were not too bad, but still had their challenges. My Japanese classes were the most difficult since it was very different from the ones I took back in the US. Obviously, you can’t use any English whatsoever even if you don’t know something in Japanese. At times it seemed to be a little fast-paced since we are jamming three class sessions into one day. There is also no way to see any professor during their office hours or emailing them for help either because it wasn’t listed on the syllabus or there was no syllabus at all (this applied to my other classes as well). I struggled a lot in that class which showed on the exams where I would get mediocre scores. I also didn’t have a lot of homework except studying for midterms, final presentations, etc. which made me feel unmotivated do even complete homework. Don’t worry I still managed to pass the classes even though the final grades were okay.

#6 FOMO/Lack of School Spirit

I am putting these two together since they are similar. Usually when one is traveling to another country that is miles away from their home, it is common for them to become homesick. In my case, I didn’t get homesick since I enjoyed being away from my parents. However, I did get the Fear of Missing Out or FOMO. When I was at my exchange university, I wasn’t able to be on my home university campus and experience the usual events/activities happening during the fall semester. Speaking of campus life, the one difference that stood out between my home university and the one in Japan is the school spirit or lack of. Back at my home university, I am used to feeling the excitement of the start of every school year where new students move in, current students return to campus, and there is that welcoming feeling. Whether it was through events like the fall pep rally, or club sign-ups, the school spirit was there. In Japan, I felt none of that even as the rest of the student body started school (aside from my buddies). I don’t even think they had their own student government who usually assist with kicking off the new school year. Going back to my “making friends” point, no one acknowledged that I was a new exchange student. Then again, I am an introvert and usually have a hard time opening up to people. Overall, having that lack of school spirit just made me feel nostalgic for the typical college life in the US.

#7 Transportation/Getting Around

For me, this has to be the second biggest challenge during my experience. In Japan, the rail systems are the most reliable form of transportation for everybody. I mentioned this a little bit in my first blog that the trains can get really crowded especially during rush hour. You will find many people such as businessmen/women and school students riding at the same time. At times, it can get so crowded that you feel like you are in a can of sardines. Before coming to Japan, I heard that there are some instances where the train station attendants have to push people to fit in the train, but I have not seen that yet. There are also times when there are no seats available that you have to stand during the whole ride, and it can make you feel dizzy. And, as part of the cultural norm, you have to give up your seat to elderly, disabled, or infant-carrying passengers. Unlike McMinnville, Yokohama is a really big city and it can be hard to get around especially if you don’t know where you are going. I unfortunately got lost a couple times trying to get around. The first time was when I was trying to get to my homestay from school by bus. It seems that I kept taking the wrong bus that were heading in the opposite direction of where I was going. I tried to ask the drivers as best as I can, but I couldn’t understand them. Up to a certain point, I gave up on the bus and took the train instead since it was more convenient. I realized soon after that I was at the wrong bus stop, and I was going by the bus number and not the destination of where it was going. Luckily, the International Center staff helped me the next day by showing me the correct bus stop, and I even wrote the destinations down so I don’t confuse them.

The second time happened recently on last week Thursday. This time, it was involving the train. I was supposed to go to the Tokyo Stock Exchange for an economics field trip. What happened was I went to the correct platform that the station attendant told me to go, but what I did not realize is that there is more than one train using that platform regardless of what the sign says. So, the platform said to Haneda Airport, but I was supposed to go on a train that was headed to Aoto and was the limited express to Tokyo. That resulted in a series of wrong directions, and I never ended up near Tokyo at all. Therefore, I missed the field trip which feels like missing a big opportunity to experience. After that, I felt humiliated, disappointed, upset, and a little bit traumatized. Especially since this was the second time I got lost, I felt like I let the KGU International Center, my classmates, and my professor down. I didn’t even want to go to class the next day or talk to anyone since I blew it! What also made this more complicated was my poor Japanese language speaking ability. Again, when someone is trying to explain directions to me, I just block it out because I don’t understand a single word (plus they don’t speak English). Now that fall break is approaching, I still feel anxious of getting lost again as that memory haunts me.

This whole fiasco is what inspired me to write about what you are reading now. I felt so down that day that I decided to open up and tell the real truth about studying abroad. But just because I had a major setback, that doesn’t mean I hated living in Japan. I still wanted to achieve my goals of traveling to other places in the country, but just feeling a little anxious after what happened. To make things worse, the other students in my program lost their trust in me that day so I wasn’t able to ask them for help. Besides, they started to form their own little clique which excluded me. To make things even more awkward, they even formed their own relationships. One student was in a relationship with a Japanese student who previously studied abroad at our school, and the other was in a relationship with another exchange student from Russia (they are now married BtW). That left me as the lone American student. There were no other US students that came that I could talk to about my struggles. It must feel the same for the Japanese students who are exchange students at our university back home. I wished I could have written letters to them to see how they were doing and compare the challenges of living in opposite countries.

Even though my host family were nice to me, they didn’t make things better the weekend after. What happened was that my host family set up a family photo with a breeder whose dog just had puppies with one my host family’s dogs. If you think it is stressful trying to take professional photos with your family, wait until you try it with a bunch of dogs. It was very stressful, and the breeder treated me like sh**t even though I wanted to pet one of the puppies. Not even going to a festival with them cheered me up after a tiring long day. However, they did understand what happened the day I got lost taking the train.

Because of these challenges I have encountered, Japan still feels like a foreign country to me. Most of the time, I listen to music just to ease my worries. I have also reached out to the KGU International Center, the International Center at my home university, and my host family for support. They all understand the challenges I have been going through. Most of the time, it feels like I am the only one still struggling to get used to Japan, and the others already gotten used to it. On the positive side, the food is really good and because Japan is so fascinating, I feel like I don’t want to go back home. Already, I have gotten an email about course registrations coming soon, and it will be hard to get back to reality once I come back in the spring.

I hope that people that want to study abroad in the future will take-away from this post that you will tend to make a lot mistakes, and that is ok. It will take a while to get used to a new country, just like how we had to get used to being on our own at the beginning of our college career. At times, we may have mixed feelings when dealing with unknown situations, especially when the cultural norms are different. If you ever need help, you can always ask someone, they are willing to guide you. At this point, I am not ready to give up on my journey, and neither should you. If I had offended anyone who is reading this post, I am very sorry. がんばって!（do your best!)

If you found this post to be a little bit of a downer, then I apologize but that is basically how life goes. It isn’t the first time I shared negative aspects about my life. As Taylor Swift once said, "this is me trying." For anyone that is currently studying abroad right now and struggling, you are not alone. Being in a foreign country can be both challenging and rewarding. There were even times while I was studying abroad where I asked myself, am I "out of the woods?" Hopefully you also have some time aside to take care of your mental health while you’re abroad. Speaking of which, I just found out recently that there is another student from my university studying abroad in the same program that I did. Only thing is that they are the only student from the US in the program. That to me is a scary thing, and they already mentioned encountering homesickness. I wish them all the best, and hope they can power through their struggles during their time in Japan. As for me, I want to thank those of you who have been following along in this series and to stay tuned for more.