A Letter to Parents of High School Seniors

Before I start, I would like to explain why I did not publish a post at the end of last month for those of you that don’t follow the IG page for this blog, @pressure.shock. Since the last post was my longest, it took a lot of time to develop. Therefore, I decided to give myself a break and delay this post to the beginning of this month. I am contemplating on whether or not I should limit blog posts to once a month or keep it at the usual twice a month. I want to make good-quality posts, but at the same time I want to publish on a frequent basis to keep my audience engaged. Again, one of the main topics in this blog is mental health, and I don’t want to have burnout managing this blog while supporting that important issue.

To the parents of high school seniors,

If the title above applies to you, then let me be the first to say, congratulations! After several years of taking your child to and from school and extracurricular activities, supporting them in their academics, athletics, and other miscellaneous things, it is finally their final year of school before heading off to college. (If your child is not a high school senior yet, then this letter might prepare you for that big milestone in the future). However, before walking across that stage and getting that diploma, your child needs to survive the entire school year. I will already tell you that senior year is not going to be the easiest since this is also the year your child will be completing college applications trying to get into the college of their dreams. However, I am here to give you some guidance so you will be satisfied with their senior year based on what I experienced during my senior year in high school.

The first piece of advice is to give your child support, and I mean LOTS and LOTS of support. As I said earlier, senior year is not an easy year and it can also be a brutal one. Not only will your child be busy filling out numerous applications, they still have to deal with taking difficult classes like AP courses, the increasing workload, the SATs and ACTs, and many more. Your child already has so much pressure put onto them, and you shouldn’t be adding to that. I know that for a lot of parents, they have high expectations of their child getting top grades and getting into a stellar college, but that can negatively impact their mental health if they are dealing with the pressure of those that. What I am saying is that if your child gets mediocre grades, a failing exam, or a low standardized test score, don’t get mad at them and tell them they are unintelligent and worthless. That will make your child lose confidence, and think they don’t have a chance of getting into a good college. Instead, you can encourage them to try their best and tell them it is okay if they fail that test, or get an average grade in the class. No one is perfect in the world, and we all can’t expect to score high. We all need setbacks and challenges to push ourselves and learn to succeed. Back in high school after freshman year, things started to go downhill for me. My grades were not the best, and my mom would get upset at me every time she saw my average grades. She kept telling me I was ordinary, and I wouldn’t get honors or succeed with these grades. Even after all of that, I still managed to get accepted into a good college that I really liked. Speaking of colleges, that is my next point I would like to touch upon.

Going to college is your child’s first step into adulthood, where they can make their own choices. Therefore, I think it is best for your child to decide on the college of their choice. And that is my next piece of advice, encourage your child to follow their own path. Deciding on a college can be pretty stressful, and it won’t be helpful if you decide on where you want your child to go. Think about it, your child is THE ONE that will be attending this college for the next four years, and if you end up choosing the college, they won’t be happy. Let your child decide if they want to go to a big top university such as an Ivy League, or a small college. Either way, whatever college they end up choosing they will be pretty happy because it is the right fit for them rather than you. Also, back to what I said about not getting mad at your child for getting bad grades; to continue on that, grades do matter for all colleges especially those with high GPA requirements. However, if your child has a bad grade and you think they have no chance of getting into a perfect college, don’t discourage them. No matter what grades or GPA your child receives in high school, they will end up getting accepted to a college they might end up attending, and still be happy with their decision. During my senior year of high school, I ended up applying to 6 colleges. My first college application actually got rejected, my second got waitlisted, and it wasn’t until my third when I got accepted. My dad wanted me to stay back home and attend the local university (the same one my brother currently attends). However, I decided to go to a small college, and I was happy about it because it was a good fit for me. So, despite my average grades, I still ended up deciding where I wanted to go because it was my choice. Even if your child does not decide to attend college or attend community college for whatever decision, that is totally fine. College isn’t for everyone, but your child can still succeed in life without attending a four-year college. They can either take a gap year, earn a certification, go to a trade school, or even take on a job. Whatever they decide, your child will not be a disappointment to the family because it is their choice on what makes them happy.

My final piece of advice is simple: cherish those final moments with your child. I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but it is true. Your child’s senior year is going to go by fast, and before you know it, they will be leaving “the family nest.” So, try spending more time with your child as a way for them to leave with positive memories. The best way to do that is follow the previous two steps I mentioned, give them a lot of support and let them choose their own path after high school. Yes, they will come home from college during the holiday breaks, but it won’t be same compared to the last several years. For some, it will also be very hard to let go of your child once you drop them off at their college campus. However, let your child go off on their own and create their own path in college so they can be happy after all the support you have given them. And don’t be afraid to continue giving that support while your child is in college.

And those are my many words of advice to you parents of high school seniors. To summarize, give your child lots of support as they tackle their final and most difficult year of school, but encourage them to follow their own path after high school whether it is letting them choose the college of their choice or doing something different instead of college. Lastly, save some quality time to spend with your child as it will be the last few moments you will be with them before heading off on their next chapter. Overall, I want your child to have a great senior year, and for you to happy and proud of them for working so hard regardless, of reaching this great milestone. Oh, and don’t worry, I will be giving advice to your high school senior in a separate letter. I wish you and your child good luck with their senior year and once again, congratulations on soon-to-be completing this chapter in your life.

Sincerely,

-Lyss Ku